“Job Security”
Fr. James Smith
When you have been pastor of five parishes in 30-some years, once in a while you have had to call someone on the staff to account. That was always my hardest duty. I would spend days thinking of the best way to tell them they weren’t doing a good enough job.
I would think of reasons they might have for their poor performance and how to make their job easier. I practiced in my mind what I would say, what they would reply and what I would respond so they could do their job and we could get on with life.
But no matter what I said or how I said it, they would invariably get defensive. They would deny the problem or make excuses or blame it on someone else. What began as a conversation turned into a debate, then an argument. And instead of arriving at some mutual understanding, we would end with a new set of guidelines.
In a world already gridded with guidelines, I was baffled. No matter how pleasant and supportive I tried to be, the dialogue never had a chance. Then one day I finally realized why. It was not a true dialogue — it could not be one, because we were not on the same page. I was the employer; he was the employee. And no matter how personal and democratic I was, I still held his job in my hand.
That was it! He was afraid of losing his job, so he immediately built a wall around it to protect it. He could not admit that he was doing anything wrong or could do anything better because that meant someone else could do it better. He had to defend his job.
After so many failures, even pastors learn. I changed my approach from the very beginning. The first thing I would say was, “Your job is secure. We need to talk about some aspects of it, but your job is not on the line.” When he was relieved from fear of ultimate harm, he was able to consider the problem realistically, objectively. He might even see how he could do a better job and enjoy it more.
Now, this may sound like only a better technique, a more clever ways of handling people. It certainly did work better. But it was more than a technique; it was a different way of relating, based not on control but on a totally different premise. Once tenure was out of the discussion, we could talk about doing the job instead of losing it. Once I gave up control of his job, he was able to consider changes.
We seem to relate to God the same way as the unjust servant. We know that God made us out of nothing and sustains us by his goodwill. We realize that we have absolutely no claim on God, and even if we work ourselves to death we are still useless servants. God has no need of us at all; we are not even scabs on a union job.
That’s a frightening realization: to feel unnecessary and useless. That is surely enough to make anyone defensive and to put them in a permanent state of denial. How can we possibly think that anything is wrong with us if we have no excuse, no recourse, no way out?
When everything seems lost, that is precisely when we understand that we have to deal with God on a totally different basis. Not just with a new technique, but a radically different understanding of our relationship. We have to realize that we are ultimately safe; that our job, our life is not at risk; that God is not our employer, but our Father. Then we can safely talk about how we’re doing our job.
This scary experience of going from an employer God to a family God is one of the most important discoveries in life. Because until we actually feel safe, saved, we have not met the real God. But since God will not change, we have to change our perception of God.
We must stop transferring our employee relation techniques to God. Our God is not someone we have to learn how to manage. It’s much simpler: Our God adores us. We have to learn to live with that.
When you have been pastor of five parishes in 30-some years, once in a while you have had to call someone on the staff to account. That was always my hardest duty. I would spend days thinking of the best way to tell them they weren’t doing a good enough job.
I would think of reasons they might have for their poor performance and how to make their job easier. I practiced in my mind what I would say, what they would reply and what I would respond so they could do their job and we could get on with life.
But no matter what I said or how I said it, they would invariably get defensive. They would deny the problem or make excuses or blame it on someone else. What began as a conversation turned into a debate, then an argument. And instead of arriving at some mutual understanding, we would end with a new set of guidelines.
In a world already gridded with guidelines, I was baffled. No matter how pleasant and supportive I tried to be, the dialogue never had a chance. Then one day I finally realized why. It was not a true dialogue — it could not be one, because we were not on the same page. I was the employer; he was the employee. And no matter how personal and democratic I was, I still held his job in my hand.
That was it! He was afraid of losing his job, so he immediately built a wall around it to protect it. He could not admit that he was doing anything wrong or could do anything better because that meant someone else could do it better. He had to defend his job.
After so many failures, even pastors learn. I changed my approach from the very beginning. The first thing I would say was, “Your job is secure. We need to talk about some aspects of it, but your job is not on the line.” When he was relieved from fear of ultimate harm, he was able to consider the problem realistically, objectively. He might even see how he could do a better job and enjoy it more.
Now, this may sound like only a better technique, a more clever ways of handling people. It certainly did work better. But it was more than a technique; it was a different way of relating, based not on control but on a totally different premise. Once tenure was out of the discussion, we could talk about doing the job instead of losing it. Once I gave up control of his job, he was able to consider changes.
We seem to relate to God the same way as the unjust servant. We know that God made us out of nothing and sustains us by his goodwill. We realize that we have absolutely no claim on God, and even if we work ourselves to death we are still useless servants. God has no need of us at all; we are not even scabs on a union job.
That’s a frightening realization: to feel unnecessary and useless. That is surely enough to make anyone defensive and to put them in a permanent state of denial. How can we possibly think that anything is wrong with us if we have no excuse, no recourse, no way out?
When everything seems lost, that is precisely when we understand that we have to deal with God on a totally different basis. Not just with a new technique, but a radically different understanding of our relationship. We have to realize that we are ultimately safe; that our job, our life is not at risk; that God is not our employer, but our Father. Then we can safely talk about how we’re doing our job.
This scary experience of going from an employer God to a family God is one of the most important discoveries in life. Because until we actually feel safe, saved, we have not met the real God. But since God will not change, we have to change our perception of God.
We must stop transferring our employee relation techniques to God. Our God is not someone we have to learn how to manage. It’s much simpler: Our God adores us. We have to learn to live with that.
posted by A. M. H. Nath | 2:10 AM
|
0 comments
